问题补充说明:一定要笑得出来 要有中文翻译或是中文翻译过去的也可以 40-70词 谢啦
1:Amanwashitbyacabinthestreet.Hewasbroughttothehospital.Hiswifewhowasstandingupbyhisb来自ed,saidtothedoctor:"Ithinkthath秋仅吸某到灯做或入降eisveryill.""Iamafraidthatheisdead."saidthedoctor,
Hearingthis,themanmovedhisheadandsaid:"I'mnotdead.I'mstillali360问答ve.""Bequiet,"saidthewife."thedoctorknowsbetterthanyou!"
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说丝位行:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听研善时收液还初六备杀孔到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得养多."
2:英:
Youcan'tgowithoutme
Thebusisverycrowded.Amantriestogeton,butnoonegiveswaytohim.
"Hey,l维最统罗黄帮通似测etmegeto离毫分分刑穿投nthebus."t两抗操顶hemanshouts.
"什It'stoo***.You'dbettertakethenextbus."apassengersaystohim.
"Butyoucan'tgowithoume.I'mthedriver."themansays.
译:
没有我你们走不了
公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士位甚克语矿木赶商企孙想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.
"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.
"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.
3:Drunk
Oneday,afatherandhislittlesonweregoinghome.Atthisage,theboywasinterested叫烈土将结话inallkindsofthingsandwas顾斤的alwaysaskingquestions.Now,heask争致背香呼源ed,"What'sthemeaningoftheword'Drunk',dad?""Well,mys字子on,"hisfather军念较replied,"look,thereare采意终能层衡standingtwopo输事敌卷视十究licemen.IfIregardthetwopolicemenasfourt慢始军包永长主汽富henIamdrunk."
"But,dad,"theboysaid,"there'sonlyONEpoliceman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?”“唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。”“可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
4:Hospitality
Thehostessapologizedtoherunexpectedguestforservinganapple-piewithoutanycheese.Thelittleboyofthefamilylefttheroomquietlyforamomentandreturnedwithapieceofcheesewhichhelaidontheguest'splate.Thevisitorsmiled,putthecheeseintohismouthandthensaid:"Youmusthavebettereyesthanyourmother,sonny.Wheredidyoufindthecheese?""Intherat-trap,sir,"repliedtheboy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?”“在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。
5:Dearwhite,somethingyougottoknow
WhenIwasborn,Iwasblack.WhenIgrowup,IamblackWhenI'munderthesun,I'mblackWhenI'mcold,I'mblackWhenI'mafraid,I'mblack.
WhenI'msick,I'mblack.WhenIdie,I'mstill***.you---whitepeople,Whenyouwereborn,youwerepink.Whenyougrowup,youbecome***.You'reredunderthe***.You'rebluewhenyou're***.Youareyellowwhenyou're***.You'regreenwhenyou're***.You'regraywhenyoudie.Andyou,callme"color"?
亲爱的白种人,有几件事你必须知道。当我出生时,我是黑色的我长大了,我是黑色的我在阳光下,我是黑色的我寒冷时,我是黑色的我害怕时,我是黑色的我生病了,我是黑色的当我死了,我仍是黑色的。你---白种人,当你出生时,你是粉红色的。你长大了,变成白色的。你在阳光下,你是红色的。你寒冷时,你是青色的。你害怕时,你是黄色的。你生病时,你是绿色的。当你死时,你是灰色的。而你,却叫我「有色人种」?
6:Whereisthefather?
Twobrotherswerelookingatsomebeautifulpaintings.
"Look,"saidtheelderbrother."Hownicethesepaintingsare!"
"Yes,"saidtheyounger,"butinallthesepaintingsthereisonlythemotherandthechildren.Whereisthefather?"
Theelderbrotherthoughtforamomentandthenexplained,"Obviouslyhewaspaintingthepictures."
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。”
7:HowManyRabbits?
Teacher:Now,Jonathan,ifIgaveyouthreerabbitsandthenthenextdayIgaveyoufiverabbits,howmanyrabbitswouldyouhave?
Jonathan:Nine,sir.
Teacher:Nine?
Jonathan:I'vegotonealready,sir.
多少只兔子?
老师:好,乔纳森,假如我给你三只兔子,第二天我又给你五只,你一共有多少只兔子?
乔纳森:一共有九只,先生。
老师:九只?
乔纳森:先生,我本来就有一只。
8:TheseAreMyJeans
Aftergoingonadiet,awomanfeltreallygoodaboutherself----especiallywhenshewasabletofitintoapairofjeansshehadoutgrownlongago.
“Look,look.”sheshoutedwhilerunningdownstairstoshowherhusband.“Icanwearmyoldjeansagain.”
Herhusbandlookedatherforalongtime,whensaid,“Honey,Iloveyou,butthesearemyjeans.”
那是我的裤子!
一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道:“快看,快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿,然后说:“亲爱的,我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”
9:Themeanman'sparty
Thenotoriouscheapskatefinallydecidedtohaveaparty.Explainingtoafriendhowtofindhisapartment,hesaid,"Comeupto5Mandringthedoorbellwithyourelbow.Whenthedooropen,pushwithyourfoot."
"Whyusemyelbowandfoot?"
"Well,gosh,"wasthereply,"You'renotcomingempty-hangded,areyou?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。
10:AllIdoispay
"Myfamilyisjustlikeanation,"Mr.Browntoldhiscolleague."Mywifeistheministeroffinance,mymother-in-lawistheministerofwar,andmydaughterisforeignsecretary."
"Soundsinteresting,"hiscolleaguereplied."Andwhatisyourposition?"
"I'mthepeople.AllIdoispay."
我要做的一切就是付钱
布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子
是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。”
“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”